There’s that age old adage that goes “Once a cheater always a cheater”. All you one-time, multiple-time offenders out there are screaming in outrage (“Not true!”). But the cold hard truth is that cheating seems to be repetitive. We hang our hats on the hope that our cheater will fall into the small percentage of one-time cheaters. But even with a one-time cheater it’s often a new relationship that cures them of their cheating ways.
People who cheat are 3.7 times more likely to cheat again based on a survey of 484 18-34 year olds.
Once you’ve been cheated on there are several things you might hear in response.
- “It was a one-time thing” (Every day over the past three months)
- “It didn’t mean anything” (To me, probably)
- “I was drunk” Seriously?
- “You didn’t spend enough time with me” anything that starts with “you” means their trying to shirk responsibility
- No response – the worst
One-time cheaters: this tends to be when the cheater hasn’t reached maturity. There’s hope that they have outgrown their cheating habits. Maybe they were fifteen and they didn’t know how end it, so they sent a blatant message. It’s a way to sabotage a relationship, that’s possibly already failing.
There’s also the cheater who has never cheated before and after their first time they feel so incredibly guilty that they never do so again.
Serial cheaters: they tend to have a lot of traits in common like narcism and arrogance. They also tend to get a thrill from cheating, the grass is always greener and this leads them to be a repetitive cheater.
It’s important to figure out what led your partner to cheat.
- They felt like something was missing, not enough time has been spent together or they’ve spent too much time with another person they’re sexually attracted too
- They like the thrill of cheating
- They felt like they wouldn’t get caught
- The reasons for cheating are endless, it’s important to figure out if it will stop or continue
The big question is: can you trust them again. If not the relationship will never rebound and you’re better off ending it now. It will take time to accept, process and understand what happened after infidelity.
It’s important to analyze if the affair was something that was repetitive or one-time. Most people don’t want to be in a relationship with infidelity. And they don’t deserve to be in a relationship with an unfaithful partner.
The best way to prevent infidelity is by making your partner your priority and spending time together. This keeps you connected and decreases the opportunity to cheat. It sounds cold, but it takes some work and effort to stay in a relationship.
Would you forgive your partner if he/she cheated?