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The Dirtiest Excerpts from Fifty Shades of Grey:

It starts off with Anastasia taking her roommates place to get an interview from Christian Grey, billionaire entrepreneur in Seattle. Anastasia is a college senior who is still finding her way in life. She’s attracted to Christian Grey and he finds himself pining after her as well. Little did she know things were about to toe the line between pain and pleasure.

Steamy elevator makeout session:
“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.” (Fifty Shades of Grey Page 78)

The oh so typical “Wow it’s so big!” scene:
“Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow! … He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no … Will it? How?” (Fifty Shades of Grey 116)

That whole ‘Inner Goddess’ theme:
“I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder …Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” (Fifty Shades of Grey 137)

When Anastasia climaxes a million times in a row (the first time):
“He leans down and kisses me, his fingers still moving rhythmically inside me, his thumb circling and pressing. His other hand scoops my hair off my head and holds my head in place. His tongue mirrors the actions of his fingers, claiming me. My legs begin to stiffen as I push against his hand. He gentles his hand, so I’m brought back from the brink … I come instantly again and again, falling apart beneath him … then I’m building again … I climax anew, calling out his name.” (Fifty Shades of Grey 195, 196)

When he folds her like a pretzel, a pretzel he smacks:
“Suddenly he grabs me, tipping me across his lap. With one smooth movement, he angles his body so my torso is resting on the bed beside him. He throws his right leg over both mine and plants his left forearm on the small of my back, holding me down so I cannot move … He places his hand on my naked behind, softly fondling me, stroking around and around with his flat palm. And then his hand is no longer there … and he hits me—hard.” (Fifty Shades of Grey 273, 274)

Dirty silver balls in weird places:
“He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread … Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils … Oh my … It’s a curious feeling. Once they’re inside me, I can’t really feel them—but then again I know they’re there … Oh my … I may have to keep these. They make me needy, needy for sex.” (Fifty Shades of Grey 362, 364)

Ouch, it hurts so good:
“At the touch of leather, I quiver and gasp. He walks around me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On his second circuit, he suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind … against my sex … The shock runs through me, and it’s the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling … My body convulses at the sweet, stinging bite. My nipples harden and elongate from the assault, and I moan loudly, pulling on my leather cuffs.” (Fifty Shades of Grey 323)

Fifty Shades of Fucked up…
“‘Why don’t you like to be touched?’ I whisper, staring up into soft gray eyes. ‘Because I’m fifty shades of fucked up, Anastasia.’ ” (Fifty Shades of Grey 369)

He pulls out her tampon? (We feel weird about this one)

“His breathing is ragged, matching mine. ‘When did you start your period, Anastasia?’ . . . He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string – what?! – and gently takes my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all . . . Jeez. And then he’s inside me. . . ah!” (Fifty Shades of Grey Ch. 23)

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Written by Danielle