I have seen so many people (myself included!) struggle with letting their partner or lack of a partner define their existence. Maybe you have been single for a long time, you are in a relationship or you feel the sting of loneliness in between relationships. No matter your relationship status it’s easy to define yourself based on your partner or lack of partner.

Love yourself first and a partner second.

Self-acceptance is a struggle on it’s own.  We look at ourselves in the mirror everyday and there’s always something that you want to change. But it doesn’t matter! You are the only you in the whole world and you are amazing.


Get to know yourself.

Spend time alone with yourself, learn who you are and what you want out of life. Defining yourself by your love life often means you’re making concessions for the things you want most out of life. It could be something like taking a trip to Europe, but your partner wants to save up for a jet ski instead.  It could be something like wanting to get married and your partner doesn’t see that in his/her future. Knowing your needs and wants out of life before you embark on a new relationship can save you some heartache in the end.


Being single is good.

“But I’ve been single FOREVER,” you whine!  There’s ups and downs to every part of life, but I promise you being single is good for you. You learn the most about yourself when you can be selfish and concentrate on your needs, wants and desires. You learn yourself inside and out and when you meet someone new, you know exactly who you are.

Taking time for your own interests.

Remember to take time to pursue your own hobbies and interests even if they don’t involve your partner. Taking time to do something you love makes you feel fulfilled. Revisiting your interests can re-ignite a passion in yourself that can lead to opportunities.

Don’t have any hobbies? Check out this pinterest search:

Defining yourself by the hot arm candy can be self validating but bringing knowledge of your own worth to a relationship provides you with a higher chance of happiness.

What do you think? Do you sometimes have trouble balancing your life with your significant other and taking time for yourself?