Online dating today almost has the expectation that the person on the other end of the screen will also be sizing up multiple other people for dates. For many people this is hard to cope with. They feel guilty talking with multiple people at once and even guiltier dating several people. And don’t even mention that the person across the table is probably doing the same.
Don’t feel guilty, with the speed online dating has increased your available options, dating multiple people can improve your dating efficiency.
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty:
1) Your “dates” are probably doing the same. You’re not exclusive yet, you don’t have to be to date different people. You’re not confessing your undying love you’re just talking over cocktails.
2) It keeps you from becoming too invested too early. Have you ever seen that perfect person on paper, they have a cute profile picture, you have almost all the same interests down to your favorite movie line, “A martini. Shaken, not stirred.” Then you meet in person and there’s absolutely no chemistry? It happens, but investing a few weeks or months into someone and then to start all over again can be disheartening.
3) You can more easily judge how you feel about each potential date. Online dating instills a “grass is always greener” mentality just by the mere overflowing plethora of options. Meeting people in person keeps you grounded and less likely to cut out Scott early in the game just because his hair is a little “too long”.
Tips for Successfully Dating Multiple People:
1) Don’t date so many people at once that you can’t keep your facts straight. You don’t want to be in that awkward position where you can’t remember if his name is Fred or George and what exactly you’ve told George about your dog Bruno. It would also help if you don’t schedule more than one date a day.
3) Don’t confess you’ve been dating multiple people. Until you have that talk that things are getting serious or that you feel a real connection here (and no that shouldn’t be on the first or second date). I like to say “need to know” basis. If they specifically ask, don’t lie. But don’t menacingly throw it in anyone’s face, either.
Cosmo has a a pretty hilarious take on all the issues that arise with dating multiple people
What do you think? Multiple dates is ok?