The elusive female orgasm. Don’t worry if you have trouble orgasming, you’re not alone. Everyone I know (myself included) has had trouble recognizing an orgasm and figuring out how to achieve it. There is a lot of speculation about the female orgasm since it isn’t as easily achievable as it is for men. We have all been at one point or another sexually frustrated that we aren’t hitting that waterfall of pleasure.
One of the most terrifying exercises is Googling the term “clitoris”, no wonder everyone is so confused. The only clear cut map of the clitoris is at the bottom of this post. All the other images look like alien genitalia. Some images are even missing the clit. Graphic design at it’s finest (not).
Most women wonder: “Why haven’t I orgasmed?”
Don’t worry, you’re not alone, an estimated 75% of women have trouble orgasming from sex alone. 10-15% of women never orgasm at all. Before assuming you fall into that 10-15% check out our tips below. There’s also rumor of women who can orgasm from just thoughts alone, although we’ve never had this happen.
Fast Facts about the Female Orgasm:
- Two types of orgasms; clitoral and vaginal(g-spot)
- G-Spot: “place located on the front wall of the vagina an inch or two behind the back of the pubic bone”
- Clitoris: It’s called the clitoral glans (check out this map of the clitoris) That’s the part you need to touch!
- The biggest inhibitor to the female orgasm is psyche. A women often needs to clear her mind to orgasm.
- During the female orgasm endorphins are released, there are usually feelings of warmth, changes in breathing.
- Every woman experiences an orgasm differently, some feel the sensation stronger than others. Some women can orgasm though sex, some only through oral sex or manual stimulation or a combination of all three. There’s even some women who say they orgasm from anal sex.
- Female squirting? Brown University states 10% of women ejaculate fluid from the urethra at climax.
What orgasming feels like: Every female experiences an orgasm differently. Some women perceive orgasms stronger than other women. A clitoral orgasm takes over your whole body. It’s like being pushed to the edge of ecstasy and being pushed over the edge.
Lots of women describe orgasming differently, but there are some common traits like feelings of warmth, a release of endorphins and a feeling of happiness.
Types of female orgasms:
Clitoral: The clitoral orgasm is considered stronger than the G-spot orgasm. The clitoris is right above the entrance of the vagina (pictured below).
Vaginal (G-spot): The G-spot orgasm is located on the front wall of vagina, an inch or two behind the back of pubic bone. Consistent rubbing of this spot can create a release. This type of orgasm is much debated, but we can confirm that we have had this type of orgasm.
Recommendations for orgasming: Patience, Time and Clearing Your Mind
- Masturbate: Have a little solo time to test out your body. It can be difficult to figure out what makes you climax. But don’t worry, with a little time you can get there. A lot of sexual research points to psyche as an inhibitor of the female orgasm.
- Clear Your Mind: Tips for clearing your mind for orgasming: make sure there’s nothing pressing on your mind, get in the mood for sex with foreplay or sexy videos.
- Rub the Clit: For a clitoral orgasm the clit needs to be stimulated in some way, whether that be touching, licking, or “gently petting”.
- G-Spot: A g-spot orgasm occurs typically when the same spot in the vagina is stimulated, usually with the penis hitting the same spot over and over.
- Try These Positions: There are certain sex positions that help a woman achieve orgasm. Top positions for female orgasm include missionary, reverse cowgirl, doggie style and our all time favorite the criss cross.
- Use Your Hand/Vibrator: You or your partner might need to get your hand down there to rub the clit while you’re having sex. Or even better, a vibrator, stimulation happens a little faster.
- Don’t Worry About Time: It can take time, some women can orgasm in as little as a few minutes and some women can take an hour of stimulation to get to climax. Men orgasm in 5-7 minutes, women can take much longer. Trust us men, make your woman orgasm and she’ll definitely appreciate.
WebMD recommends to have some tension in your abs and butt, it’s not all about just relaxing.
Do you have trouble orgasming? There is medication to help.